Baby B's world

We went this morning for our down syndrome screening test, which meant that we got to see Baby B. on the ultrasound again! Our little one was really funny and wouldn’t hold still for the tech to get the right pictures. Every time she went to take the image, the baby would wiggle around and go somewhere else. Then the baby must have worn itself out as after that (s)he remained in one place and wouldn’t move at all no matter what we did. By that time, the tech needed the baby to move, so all in all, Baby B. was pretty uncooperative, but I loved it because that meant we got to watch longer while the tech tried to get all the right shots.

All of the thoughts I had during the ultrasound were so interesting. At first I felt like a bad mom, like I couldn’t get my baby to listen to directions and get it to do what it was supposed to do. I know—crazy! Then, I just sat back and enjoyed the show, laughing every time the baby swam away from the position it was in. I wondered what this little glimpse into the baby’s world meant for his/her future. Is Baby B. going to be playful, rambunctious, comical, naughty (in a cute way, of course!)?

The feeling after I have an ultrasound is one of such pure joy and peace. It’s hard to concentrate at work and not just daydream about what is going on all day with the baby. It’s so interesting to see Baby B.’s world, I wish I could peak in more often. Just watching the way (s)he moves could keep me entertained all day!

We have a heartbeat!

I had my ultrasound this morning, and it went great! We immediately saw Baby B. and got to see and hear the heartbeat! The heart was beating at a very healthy 161 beats per minute. To see that tiny little heart beating inside of me is something that I will absolutely never forget.

They pushed my due date back a bit, so I am now officially 7 weeks and 4 days, with a due date of 3/13/11. I couldn’t be more thrilled with how it went today–I’ve never felt such an overwhelming surge of relief in my life.

Thanks so much to everyone who has us in your thoughts and prayers! It meant the world to me. Now, hoping for smooth sailing the rest of the pregnancy (a girl can dream, right!?).

Also, I have a new post up over on the ACT1 site today. Check it out if you have some time! Hopefully it will make you smile :)

Thinking positive thoughts...

First, I want to say thank you to everyone who left such sweet notes of congratulations on my last post.  I  truly appreciate all of your kind works!

I've been avoiding writing since then because after our initial excitement, we got a little bit of scary, although not necessarily bad, news.  We went for the first ultrasound last week and all they saw was an empty gestational sac.  Since by my calculations I thought I was 6.5 weeks at the time, this was an upsetting image to see.  We thought by this time we might have had a shot at seeing the heartbeat.  The doctor explained that I could very likely just be earlier than I thought, which would explain why my HCG levels were also low when first tested, although there is a chance that the reason we only saw the gestation sac could be because the pregnancy may not be viable.  Luckily, my HCG number continues to rise, so that is a good sign!  But, the first time I explained what happened out loud to my dad, I couldn't help but cry.  It was hard to talk about it out loud to anyone, and that night when my husband got home from work, I melted into a puddle of helpless tears.

I will go back late next week for another ultrasound, so until then, all we can do it wait, and think positive thoughts.  My husband and I have such wonderful family and close friends who are all praying and thinking positively, so Baby B. has a lot of people pulling for him/her!

It's been an emotional roller coaster since the ultrasound.  At first, I was so teary and couldn't think about anything else.  We were so lucky to get pregnant so quickly, that I suppose a little waiting won't kill us--although I must say, I'm not sure I've ever felt such insatiable stress in my life.  I already love this baby so much, that it's devastating to imagine what it will mean if the pregnancy isn't viable. I hope and pray that I won't need to go down that path, and for now, I am just trying to take care of myself as best I can.

During this horrible wait, I must say that the online community has been such a valuable tool.  Sites like Diabetic Mommy, The Bump and Baby Center are all full of other women who are always willing to share their stories and advice.  I cling to every story I hear of women who have been through similar situations and turned out to have healthy pregnancies (I also value the non-success stories because they help me manage my expectations, even though they are difficult to read). It makes me feel very lucky to be going through this pregnancy at a time when there is so much information available almost instantaneously, and the women on these sites have helped me to have a much more positive outlook this week!

So fingers crossed, everyone, and I'll be sure to keep you updated!