What a week

Well, I’ve had some time to digest the news about Baby B’s heart issue, and I’m feeling much better about it this week. I know that we have great doctors, and that even if we do need a procedure to fix the problem, it’s very routine and simple. I still worry that something else could pop up now, either related or unrelated, but I don’t feel the uncontrollable need to cry or inability to shake the worry anymore. It’s amazing what a little time can do to make you step back and get some clarity.

As far as my diabetes has been, it’s been a roller coaster. I literally sometimes will just give myself what seem like totally random and unwarranted amounts of insulin just to keep myself in a good range. While this has been working the past week or so, I need to get better about logging again so I can reset my basal rates and insulin to carb ratios so that I’m not just taking shots in the dark about how much insulin to give myself.

This coming week is a big week for me and my growing family. We go back this week for another fetal echocardiogram where we hope to get a little more information from our cardiologist and will have a chance to get some of the questions we’ve come up with over the past two weeks answered. I also go to see my CDE, who will do an A1C, and I’m very nervous about that because I feel like I’ve been high a lot more than I like to be over the past couple of weeks until I started randomly doling out insulin. I also go back to my OB for a regular check up and ultrasound, so there is a lot on my plate this week—not to mention the fact that I’m still attempting to at least pretend that I’m being somewhat productive at my full time job.

On top of all that, a new stress has been added to the mix. My dad, who has Type 2 diabetes, has recently started to suffer from various complications mainly due to the fact that he has ignored his diabetes for the last 15 years or so. I wrote about this recently on the ACT1 blog. Most recently and very ironically, we’ve learned that my dad now also has an issue with his heart. He will be going in tomorrow hopefully for a simple procedure that is similar to the one that Baby B may need if necessary, but if they get in there and the damage is too bad, they will need to do bypass surgery at a later date.

So, I’m trying to stay as composed as I can through all of this, both for my own sake, and the baby’s. I know stress isn’t good for the baby, and certainly not good for my blood sugar either, so I’ve been working hard to just be rational and as calm as possible about all of this. I also know there isn’t a blessed thing I can do to control any of this, so at this point, I feel like I’m just a player in one big waiting game.

I hope my next post will be full of updates of good news and bright outlooks for Baby B and for my dad. In the meantime, I’ll just keep working to control the only thing I can even try to control, and that is my diabetes.