Until a couple of months ago, I had been on birth control (bc) for a long time and enjoyed years with mostly clear skin. Now that I've gone off bc, however, my face is breaking out like crazy. I thought taking prenatal vitamins would make up for going off bc in terms of the skin department, but no such luck. So, I guess in addition to all the work I've been doing on my diabetes, I can add horrible skin to the list of things I'm willing to deal with for Baby B. I have a feeling that list is going to get much longer over the next year(s), and yet, I still can't wait!
As I've written here on my blog, I've been working really hard on getting my blood sugar under really tight control to get my body ready to carry a little one for nine months! While I've made a lot of progress with my blood sugar, my weight has gotten totally out of control (or at least it feels that way to me). I've gained about 10 lbs. as I've gotten under tighter control, and on a 5'3" frame, it makes a big difference in how I feel about myself.
I'm not helpless in this situation, and there is a lot I could do to fight my weight that I am not currently doing, but it still feels like such a constant struggle. I'm trying to be healthier by getting my BS under control, but by achieving this goal, it's made managing my weight seem impossible. It's also making me feel horribly unhealthy. While I'm not eating that much, I'm not necessarily eating the best food, and I know I need to change that if I am going to get a handle on this weight issue.
I also need to exercise more consistently. If you've been following my blog, you know I've struggled with finding an exercise program that works for me. While I haven't been as committed as I would like to my walking, I've been doing OK, and am going to try to step it up even more.
I still so badly want to put myself in the best position possible to have a healthy pregnancy, and I think that even if I don't get it 100% right, it's still important to keep trying. Because soon (hopefully), it won't be just me that I'm taking care of, but it will be Baby B. too!
As I'm about half way through the three month waiting period to see if I can get a second A1C at or under 6.0, I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed that I haven't made as much progress as I would have wanted in this time. But, there's still time to make healthier changes, and every small change is a step in the right direction.
You often hear women talking about work/life balance, but part of my struggle with my diabetes is balancing my work life along with tight blood sugar control. Yesterday and today were important days at work because I had a big client event that I was running. In years past, event days are a nightmare for several reasons, but to make matters worse, high blood sugar usually accompanies “event days” for me. There are several reasons for this, not the least of which is stress, which can sometimes drive my numbers into the 300’s. I also tend to not test as much during my events because I am so busy catering to the every need/desire of our clients, that I quite simply don’t ever think to stop and test. Along with that, I also tend to forget to bolus for the food I eat because I don’t want to yank my pump out in front of clients and I don’t have time to get up and go to the restroom to do it (I don’t have a remote for my pump yet, but I’d love one!).
But, this event was different. Rather than coasting through our client dinner last night and roundtable discussion today in the 200-300’s, I managed to stay under 180 over the course of both days. This is a MAJOR victory for me, and I rarely say this, or even think it, but I am proud of myself for actively improving my control over what is typically a blood sugar free for all.
The first change I made is something I’ve been working on for the past month or so, and that was that I was less stressed than normal. I wasn’t as stressed because I think I’m actually doing a good job of managing my stress better now than I have in the past. I focused on this initially because of the effect that stress has on my blood sugar, but I also now realize that there is just no need for some of the stress I used to feel because I always work hard to make sure I’m prepared.
The second change I made was eating absolutely no carbs the past two days. I don’t typically eat much at events since I’m “on” the whole time, but this time I really made an effort to not eat carbs since I don’t like to have to pull my pump out to bolus. This seemed to work perfectly.
I wish I could say that I also tested more often than normal, but that was just not the case. I did test before and after each part of the event, but just couldn’t find the time to do it in the middle. Something to work on next time!
It was interesting, because the event that I was working was a women’s event and so naturally, they touched on work/life balance issues. It’s funny that during that discussion my mind jumped to how I’ve been working so hard at trying to balance my life with diabetes. I think lately I’ve been pretty good at balancing both, and am pleased that I am seeing results for my hard work!
I can't imagine someday throwing Baby B. into this whole mix, but I'm sure when the time comes, I'll figure that out too...
Since I’m lucky to be happily married and don’t have to deal with first dates or blind dates, I am stuck with butterflies in my stomach for a whole other kind of date—one with a dietitian. A date with a dietitian is filed with many of the hopes of a first date and a new relationship—that they’ll like you, that they won’t try to change you, that you’ll be happier with this new person in your life, that you’ll become a better person, that they don’t think you’re fat (OK, maybe that one’s just me), etc. And, just like after many first dates, a new relationship with a dietitian in my experience tends to crash and burn within 3 visits. I’ve tried to date all different kinds of dieticians—skinny ones, fat ones, serious ones, funny ones—and I just never click with them. Even the reason for “breaking up” is the same—it’s not you, Ms. Dietician, it’s me. I’m not ready to commit. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.
So, off to a new dietician I go this week. I’m trying to go with an open mind, but I’m feeling jaded by the experience of dating so many different dieticians. I know I’d be better off listening to them, but I’m set in my ways, and not sure I can really change. I’ll report back, but wish me luck. At least I’m not worried about what to wear!