week two - a struggle, but onto basal rate testing...

This past week for me in terms of managing my blood sugar and weight has been tough.  While during the day my blood sugar is pretty manageable (although I am going low a lot as I try to keep my numbers around 90), I'm really struggling with it overnight.  I'll test three times in the hour before bed and be fine, even seemingly dropping, and then by 4am, I'm in the 300's.  I've tried eating earlier, eating differently, adjusting my basal rates, even testing at 1am and 2am (at which time I'm still fine), and nothing is helping!  The only thing that seems to help is giving myself a HUGE bolus that is spread out overnight (with a combo bolus on my pump).  It is scary to give myself such a large bolus at midnight when I am only in the 120's, but for right now, that's the only thing that is working.

While struggling with my blood sugar is nothing new, the importance of each reading is heightened as I think about them in terms of how they might effect my body, and my ability to have a healthy pregnancy.  I wake up in the morning not only frustrated and feeling terrible when I see a reading of 300, but also upset and terrified at how readings like this will impact a pregnancy.  I know I need to fix the problem before I become pregnant, and I will, I just wonder if it's this hard before I'm pregnant, then how will I ever do it when I have to factor in the complications of pregnancy?

And, I've also been struggling with my eating.  The low carb thing has not been working that well for the past few weeks.  I don't seem to be losing weight (possibly because I'm going low more often during the day and having to drink soda/eat pretzels), and I seem to be having to take A LOT of insulin considering I'm not eating many carbs.  When I went to see the high risk OBGYN, she referred me to a diabetes center and I have an appointment with an endo there and a CDE in about 6 weeks, but for now, I'm trying to fix all these problems on my own, and I'm jut frustrated.  I feel like after a tough week with my blood sugar, and another week that I don't lose weight, just pushes back the possibility of getting pregnant even further, and I hate feeling like I can't move forward in the process!

So tonight I'm going to try to test my overnight basal right and see what happens.  Even though I HATE basal rate testing, I think it's the only thing that's going to help me get things figured out... will report back tomorrow on how that goes!